Pick Up LInes Qoutes and Jokes



Dito nyo mahahanap lahat Pick up lines Jokes Qoutes Sana Magustohan nyo i hope you like it!













Thursday, August 23, 2012

qoutes and pick up lines

"Hindi naman yung taong mahal mo ang mahirap kalimutan nung nawala siya sa'yo eh... Kundi yung taong naging ikaw dahil sa kanya."
"Walang taong manhid. Hindi lang talaga maintindihan kung ano ang gusto mong iparating dahil ayaw mo siyang diretsuhin."
"Imbis na magtanong ka ng 'Hindi pa ba sapat?', bakit hindi mo na lang kalimutan ang lahat? Kung alam mong binabalewala ka na, tanggapin mong nagsasawa na s'ya."
"Pag pinag-aagawan ka, malamang maganda ka o gwapo ka. Tandaan mo: Sumama ka sa mabuti, di sa mabait. Sa marunong, di sa matalino. Higit sa lahat, sa mahal ka, di sa gusto ka."
"Hindi porke pinili ka niya ngayon eh ikaw na talaga ang mahal niya. Siguro he just took you for granted kasi ayaw sa kanya nung mahal niya."
"Paano mo masasabing special ka sa isang tao kung ang bawat ginagawa niya ay ginagawa din niya sa iba."


"Bakit ka magpaparamdam sa taong hindi marunong makaramdam? 'Wag kang magpakatanga, sa taong hindi marunong magpahalaga. Matuto kang sumuko at mang-iwan, kung lagi ka namang sinasaktan."
"Minsan, kailangan mong maging malakas, para amining mahina ka."
"Madalas ang wrong send ay hindi naman talaga wrong send at ang blank text ay hindi naman talaga napindot lang...ganyan mag papansin ang ayaw mag first move."
"Hindi porket madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa phone, kasama sa mga lakad o katext wantusawa e may gusto sayo at makaka tuluyan mo na... may mga tao lang talaga na sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt o paasa."
"Kung nakikita mo na ang dahilan mo para sumuko... huwag mo na lang tingnan."
"Kahit na anong bagal ng paglakad mo, kung di ka naman niya gustong habulin, hindi ka talaga nya maabutan... kahit na mag-stop over ka pa."
"Ang trahedya ng buhay ko? Hindi ako nagkaroon ng kapangyarihang makapagsabi ng tamang bagay, sa tamang tao, sa tamang panahon."
"Ano namang mapapala mo kakaisip sa nakaraan at sa mga pwede pang mangyari? Wala ka naman sigurong super powers para maibalik ang nakalipas na. Dapat matuto kang pahalagahan ang mga nangyayari sayo sa kasalukuyan. Isipin mo yung ngayon. I-enjoy mo lang ang buhay.."
"Kung gusto mo matawa, dapat paminsan-minsan magpakababaw ka rin. Wag nga lang sobra."


Bos: "...May lisensya ka ba sa pagmamaneho?"
Diego: "Huh? Lisensya? Bakit?"
Bos: "Because you're driving me crazy!"
Diego: "...Pag kausap kita lagi akong nadadapa!"
Bos: "Huh? Bakit?"
Diego: "Sobrang baba kasi ng IQ mo, natitisod ako!"
Diego: "Sudoku ba ko?"
Bos: "Bakit?"
Diego: "Kasi hirap na hirap ka sakin!" ~Bob Ong

qoutes

1. Kahit ilang beses pa akong masaktan dahil sayo,
di kita iiwan, di ako susuko.

Dahil kung may 100 dahilan para iwan ka,
hahanap pa rin ako ng isang dahilan para ipaglaban ka...


2. Kapag iniiwasan ko ba ang tingin mo,
Hindi na agad kita gusto?


Hindi ba puwedeng kinikilig muna ako
kaya hindi ako makatingin ng diretso?


3. Sabi nila kapag ang adik nahuli, siguradong makukulong.

Eh panu kung mahuli mo ko na adik sayo? Magagawa mo kaya akong ikulong sa puso mo? :))

4. Kapag ba tumabi ako sa iyo...

at may umupo sa gitna natin…

Ang ibig sabihin ba nun,
may namamagitan na sa atin?

5.Sa dami ng mga banat na narinig ko, wala ng mas liligaya pa
kapag nabanatan ko yung pagmumukha ng taong lalandi sa iyo. :D

6. Huwag mo ngang ipagsiksikan ang sarili mo sa kanya!


Sa akin ka kaya KASYA :)


7. 'Wag mo nang itanong kung ano ang gusto ko...

Baka kasi madulas ako at IKAW ang masabi ko.

8. Sa relasyon,
hindi dapat naggagantihan,

kung napatawad mo na, wag mo nang isumbat pa..

Dahil para mo na rin siyang niloko nang sinabi mong pinatawad mo na siya.

9. May mga bagay na sa kanya mo lang talaga nakita at naramdaman,
kaya minsan kahit nahihirapan at nasasaktan ka na
hindi mo pa rin siya kayang kalimutan..


10. Maraming pwedeng magpasaya sayo..

hindi nga lang yung

taong inaasahan mo. :(

Read more: http://love-text.blogspot.com/2011/12/new-tagalog-love-quotes.html#ixzz24R0Omx9F

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

jokes

There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into brown haired woman and she swims off the island. 

The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. So, instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island. 

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge. 

video jokes

video jokes

english pick up lines

Pwede ka bang makatabi pag may exam?
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BAKET?
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Coz I feel perfect beside you
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BOOM ! haha


Mahilig ka ba magluto ng pancit canton?
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baket?
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kasi pag kasama kita feeling ko
“LUCKY ME”
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BOOM! XD


TAPOS KA NA BANG MAGTURO SA KATABI MO?
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BAKIT?
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PARA AKO NAMAN MANGLIGAW SAYO


gAndA ng MgA pick Up lines..

- PunO Kba?
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=Bakit?

Kasi AKo Ang Baging pwdec BA kitang

Gapangin..

wheew!!!

jokes

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'



New prefix
If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix 'bim' could be used to create new words that describe them:

Bimbabble - noises coming from a group of blondes
Bimbaffled - constant mental state of blondes
Bimbait - short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males
Bimbar - a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait
Bimbag - a blonde's purse
Bimbrushes - essential equipment in a bimbag
Bimbastic surgeon - specialist in breast enhancements for blondes
Bimbeeper - special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes
Bimbellow - sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard
Bimbillion? - a blonde giving an estimate of anything
Bimblaze - the result of a blonde trying to cook
Bimblues - a blonde's state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her
Bimboette - a young blonde
Bimbonese - language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else
Bimbonique behavior - airhead behavior, unique to blondes
Bimboozle - to fool a blonde
Bimbore - a blonde who uses "like" more than 10 times in a sentence
Bimbozo - another name for a blonde
Bimboron - a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes
Bimbrownie - a well-tanned blonde
Bimbrunette - a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is
Bimburden - blonde carrying too many bags at the mall



Bathtime fun
A man worked hard all day digging the garden and felt very stiff and sore.

His wife fluttered about him, pleased with the amount of work he had done and anxious to get him to do some more.

"Have a nice soak in the bath and I'll bring you a drink," she suggested smiling.

"Good idea," says the husband looking forward to being waited on.

He's in the bath when she comes in with a nice glass of Scotch which he accepts happily.

"If there's anything else you'd like just call," says the wife as she leaves the bathroom.

When she got halfway along the landing the husband relaxes completely and lets off an enormous long fart in the bath.

A few minutes later, despite it being a very warm Summer's evening, the wife comes in with a fluffy bed warmer

"What the heck is that for?" asks the husband snappily.

"Oh Darling," says the wife, flustered, "I thought I heard you say, "Whataboutahottawaterbottle."



New Women's Study
There is a new study out about women. I thought these results were pretty interesting.

85% of women think their ass has grown too big since getting married..

10% of women think their ass is just as big as it was when they got married..

The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him and would have married him anyway.

Extra Office Work
The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary.

He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"

The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."


Children Quotes
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Clarence Darrow

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
Bill Maher

To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
Ernest Hemingway

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
Quentin Crisp

There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age.
Benjamin Spock

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
Nancy Mitford

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller